The Life and Death of Krishnamurti by Mary Lutyens

Author:Mary Lutyens
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, pdf
Publisher: Krishnamurti Foundations
Published: 2014-10-10T16:00:00+00:00

K left London for Ojai via New York on 14 June, taking with him at Rajagopal’s request the tapes of his Wimbledon talks. Next day Doris wrote to Signora Vanda, as K called her, that he was dreading the occasion of his Ojai visit, for there was, she gathered, something to be faced there. He had said that he might return very quickly.

It was on 18 June, the day before he flew to Los Angeles from New York, that K started to write a most extraordinary account of his inner states of consciousness. Written in pencil in exercise books, with not a word crossed out, he continued this journal for seven months. He had never kept such a record before and had no recollection of what prompted him to start it. It is the nearest we shall ever get to knowing what it was like to be him. It shows how little the events of his outer life affected his inner being.[********] One has only to open the book at random to be transfixed by a sense of wonder and mystery. It starts abruptly: ‘In the evening it was suddenly there, filling the room, a great sense of beauty, power and gentleness. Others noticed it [the friends he was staying with in New York].’ The ‘immensity’, the ‘sacredness’, the ‘benediction’, the ‘otherness’, the ‘other’, the ‘vastness’ were all names by which K referred in the course of the journal to the mysterious ‘it’ which could not be sought but which came to him every day so strongly that others sometimes noticed it. He wrote also of ‘the process’, the intense pain in his head and spine that went on at the same time. The whole of his teaching is in this journal as well as very beautiful descriptions of nature. On the 21st, at Ojai, he was writing: ‘Woke up at about two and there was a peculiar pressure and the pain was more acute, more in the centre of the head. It lasted over an hour and one woke up several times with the intensity of the pressure. Each time there was a great expanding ecstasy; the joy continued.’ And next day: ‘The strength and beauty of a tender leaf is its vulnerability to destruction. Like a blade of grass that comes up from the pavement, it has the power than can withstand casual death.’ And on the 23rd: ‘Just as one was getting into bed, there was the fullness of Il L [Il Leccio]. It was not only in the room but it seemed to cover the earth from horizon to horizon. It was a benediction.’ And on the 27th he wrote: ‘That presence which was at Il L was there, waiting patiently, but benignly, with great tenderness.’ These two last extracts show that whatever was going on had been experienced earlier at Il Leccio. He often found himself shouting in the night but since he was sleeping alone in Pine Cottage he could not be heard at Arya Vihara.

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